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People with Vaginas, Here Is the Latest Trend for You: Vaginal Steaming

Are you tired and stressed out from all of society's expectations? Don't know why you're so moody all the time? Partner refusing to have sex with you because your vagina doesn't smell like freshly-cut daisies? Don't worry, because there's apparently a centuries-old therapy for that, something to get rid of your vaginal smell, and all that stress.

This new trend is called vaginal steaming, and basically consists of you sitting on some kind of fancy commode, and getting steam “infused with herbs” blown into your vagina. Yes, that's what it is. According to Gwyneth Paltrow, who writes this on her lifestyle website Goop, “You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al. It is an energetic release—not just a steam douche—that balances female hormone levels. If you’re in LA, you have to do it.”

Source: Giphy

Don't believe us? We'll give you all the details, and quote a woman who actually did it. Laura Hooper Beck, from Fast Company went to an actual “uterus spa,” and got her vagina steamed, and here's how it went down.

“Entering the vagina steaming room (I just don’t know what else to call it), I’m faced with what looks like a Victorian police cell toilet situated over a steaming pot of Grandma’s Chai Spice Vagina tea. I hover over the hole in the seat just so and then settle down so that the steam may rise into That Which Is Most Sacred. I cannot tell a lie: At first, it feels incredibly weird to have hot wet air wafting into my cooch. My entire body tenses as I actively clench my vaginal muscles to protect myself from the invading shower of scorching steam...I zen out as my vagina sucks up steam and drips out whatever; I fantasize about getting a really good spa-style exfoliating scrub beatdown afterwards. I want to feel as clean on the outside as I feel on the inside. Which is to say, very clean. Squeaky clean. Just me and my squeaky clean vagina.
At the end of my 30 minutes, I stand up and have a distinct feeling of emptiness. Not in a scary way but in a calming way. I feel good. I imagine this is how Gwyneth Paltrow feels all the time; empty and just a little bit better than other people. It’s almost like I can hear her voice whispering into my vagina.”
Source: Thrillist

According to actual medical experts (Sorry, Gwyneth), vaginal steaming doesn't really have any benefits. The steam is supposed to contain mugwort and wormwood, and the latter is used to treat malaria. We're not sure how blowing malaria medicine in your vagina will help, but hey, if you've got $50 (INR 3,334) to spare, you can try it. However, just like gynaecologists dissuade you from douching, trying to clean your vagina with steam could actually disrupt your natural bacteria. And going by common sense, it couldn't possibly balance your hormones, because the steam doesn't reach your ovaries, and nothing it touches produces any hormones.

There you have it, ladies. If you have the money to spend, and a vagina that needs some warm, loving care, go for it. But if you think it's going to do anything that Gwyneth says it does, you'll be really disappointed. 

Feature Image Source: Periodview

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