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10 Fuckall Products for Vaginas We Didn’t Know Women Needed

Vaginas. They are great. And mysterious. We wax them, lubricate them for sex, and sometimes we keep them healthy with vaginal washes. But did you know that there are tonnes of other products just waiting to give you the vagina of your dreams? If you think vaginas are self-cleaning, you're probably mistaken because look at how many products exist to alter it! Would the consumer industry lie to us? Here are 10 vaginal products that you didn't even know you needed:

Vagina Chapsticks

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"Convenient to use on your labia and your entire vulvar skin liberally and as needed or desired throughout the day." This is how the website describes this particular product because obviously, we need to constantly moisturise and hydrate our vulvas with a cream. 

Vagina Tightening Stick 

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No, not a skin tightening product, although you will find those for your vagina as well. This particular stick is described as having an 'antioxidant' effect on your vagina. How it will tighten our vaginas, we don't know, but we can't wait to find out. 

Vagina Lightening Cream

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Ah, sweet victory. We finally have the product we always wanted, a Fair and Lovely, but for our vaginas! Until now, we did not know we needed a lighten our vulva, but now we must have it. 

Vaginal Smoothening Cream

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We're not sure how else to describe this product other than saying that it "smoothens, softens, and lubricates" our vaginas. It's called Smooth Lovely Jelly, by the way. How can we resist buying it? 

'Natural' Labia Whitener

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Bas naam hi kaafi hai (no explanation needed).

Artificial Hymen With Fake Virgin Blood

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This is the most valuable product on this list because no one must ever find out that you have had sex. You can use this artificial hymen, which comes with its own 'fake virgin blood,' to make sure that every time is as special as the first time. 

Herbal Vaginal Repairing Swab

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"Features: 100% Chinese herbal medicine for beautiful women. Effect: Vaginal detox pearls healing swabs." Need we say more? Let's just 'add to cart' right now.

 Permanent Vaginal Hair Removal Cream 

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Although the product does say it can be used on other body parts, like armpits, why would we waste such a great invention on anything other than our vaginas? Use this to permanently get rid of all pubic hair, because pubic hair is obviously unnatural. 

This book on making your vagina smell good and taste good.

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This may be the only book you will ever need to buy. It will answer all your questions on how to solve that ancient mystery... how do we make our vaginas taste great? Get your copy now!

Female Daily Vaginal Douching 

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Because nothing is healthier than douching your vagina with a plastic douche, every single day. 

Orgasmic Gel for Women

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Honorary mention. After spending a long time trying to understand what this product actually does, we were unable to satisfactorily reach a conclusion. So here are the listed features: 

Material: Herb Reduction Yam Gel 

All we can say is that this product seems to do it all, and it can be yours for only ₹2,699 (free delivery).

Why wait any longer, ladies? Order these right away to get the vagina you never knew you wanted. 

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