This Is What You Must Know before Having Sex for the First Time
If you have never had sex and are thinking of taking the plunge, the first thing you must know is that you are not alone. While society rages against shaming people for sex away from marriage, we know that all of us have, at some point, shamed people for not having sex and tried to convince them about the greatness of it. Some give in to the pressure, some don't. But even if you wait till you feel ready to have sex and think you've made an informed decision, there will be a surprise or two in store for you. You can read about it all you want, watch all the movies you can lay your hands on, but there is so much more you need to know about sex if this is your first time. For a lowdown on everything you need to be prepared for and with, read on.
Be absolutely sure they don't have a communicable disease. You don't want a lethal or even non-lethal infection as your memory of the first time you had sex.
You will have to look straight at a pharmacist and ask for condoms. Don't shy away just because a loser behind the counter suddenly gets a sick glint in his eye.
Visit your gynaecologist to discuss contraception options. You can get pregnant. As much as you may not believe movies, people have gotten pregnant after having sex for the first time. So speak to a gynaecologist.
The regular pill will take over your life. If you're thinking of going on the regular oral contraceptive pill, you have to take it at the same time every day, without fail. Don't screw that up or you may get screwed.
Sex needs a location. Unless you're okay with getting it on in the car or a public loo every time, you will need to find a place. And that's not just your partner's responsibility. Come on, ladies. If you want it, work for it.
Are your emotions and need for sex all mixed up? Is sex emotional for you? If it is, are you sure that this is the right person for an experience that means so much to you?
Figure out an escape plan. Also, decide whether you're staying the night or leaving soon after. Have a friend on standby
Hygiene is always important. Bedsheets, or whichever surface you choose to do it on, must be clean. A dirty surface in direct contact with your bare butt can give you a score of infections. Also, if you spend some time with the person before having sex with them, you'll be able to figure out whether they're clean or not.
Be very sure they're not creeps. If you don't want to land up on a viral video without your consent or have a stalker on your hands, spend some time with the person before deciding to have sex with them. Creeps are extremely difficult to shrug off.
It's not always perfect in the sack. Be prepared to be disappointed. The movies aren't real. Sex is not always as hot and passionate as shown in the movies. It's awkward and messy, especially the first time. But don't think that this is just a rite of passage and that after the first time, sex will become magical. No, it won't. Passionate, spontaneous, great sex will happen but not all the time.
Don't try to play out fantasies the first time around. Pace yourself. Cricketers don't aim for record-breaking centuries in their first match. So let's take a step back and not aim for all your crazy fantasies to be played out during your first sexual encounter.
Equip yourself with lube. It is a 90% possibility that you will be dry around and inside the vaginal area. And penetration can really hurt without lubrication. So when you're buying condoms, get lube also, just in case you need it.
Empty out your bladder before starting. Stopping to pee is one of the biggest mood-killers in the world. So hydrate yourself, pee it all out and then get it on.
Queefing, aka noisy fart from the vagina, is perfectly normal. You may hear a loud, uncontrollable fart-like sound from your vagina while you're having sex. But it's not exactly a fart. Penetrative sex causes air to escape from the vagina and, expectedly so, it makes a noise. Nothing to be embarrassed about.
You won't be in the mood for sex all the time, but you will also have severely horny phases. You're human, so is your partner presumably. So it's unrealistic and unfair to expect one or the other to be in the mood whenever you are. If you're horny and really want some action, consider some self-love rather than trying to guilt your partner into sex if they don't feel like it.
You can stop whenever you want. Regardless of how turned on your partner is or whatever deed of angels they may have done, you do not owe them sex. Ever. You should know that if you're uncomfortable at any point, you should ask your partner to stop immediately and assert it more forcefully if they don't listen.
Don't make alcohol your sex pre-game. It may make you less inhibited but alcohol can make you sleepy, sick, lazy and just not fun.
Lingerie is not the only thing that'll get the mood going. Sometimes, all it takes is a nice dinner and a great conversation. Also, no amount of lacy lingerie will make you feel as sexy as you will when you're truly ready and happy about what's going to happen.
Now, lock the door and rock the headboard.